What Would Henry Miller Do?

This post is an excerpt from a Novel-in-Progress about a struggling writer/musician trying to make it in New York. Any similarities are entirely coincidental.

I’m in hell.

There was another ring of hell that Dante forgot, and I’m in it.

Broke and hot in Brooklyn, New York City. Park Slope to be exact, in the middle of the hottest July on record; so hot the kids don’t even have the energy to bust open the fire hydrants. I’m sitting in front of the fridge, the icebox open, a fan on top blowing the cold smoke into my face.

I might as well be pissing in the wind.

Every other apartment has an air conditioner balancing precariously on the window ledge, the drip-drip of water like Chinese torture telling me just how cool it is inside. The Spanish woman I’ve sublet this place from has a fan.

One fan.

But I shouldn’t complain. This is what I wanted, right? This is the life of the artist, one man’s heroic struggle to forge in the smithy of his soul the uncreated conscience of his race.

Or something.

And I think: what would Henry Miller do?

But, I like Park Slope. Just down the block from me is the bakery where an obsessive-compulsive Jack Nicholson took Helen Hunt for breakfast in that movie. This isn’t the moneyed Park Slope; that’s a few blocks north of here, past the roundabout, beside Prospect Park, in the old brownstones that look like they’re waiting patiently for Edith Wharton to come back. This is southern Park Slope (or Windsor Terrace as it’s more properly known), a working-class neighbourhood with rappers on the corner and whole families of Hispanics on the stoop and Spanish landladies who are impervious-to-heat.

New York is funny like that. In some cities, if you lived in a rich neighbourhood, you’d have to walk a mile to find a poorer one; here you just have to walk a few blocks. People talk about how impersonal the city is with its rushing hordes and break-neck buildings, a majesty that dwarfs even the richest of its inhabitants. But that’s what’s so great about it. It’s a level playing-field. There’s rich and poor, but they’re all thrown together in this stew. There are opportunities for everyone in New York, which means, at any time, that piss-poor artist you just turned away from your club could be the next big thing. The people with money recognise this and – with the exception of the old money relics strapped to their oxygen masks on the Upper West Side – most welcome it. Oftentimes, you can eat at the best tables even if you don’t have a pot to piss in.

‘Farrell’s’, the bar up the block, sums up this neighbourhood perfectly. It’s been there since the Thirties, which is a lifetime in New York terms, and it’s exterior and interior appear to have changed little in that time. It’s a hangout for cops and firemen and there are no chairs, tables, or barstools (what are ya … a wuss?) They serve one type of beer – Budweiser – and God help you if you ask for a cocktail. Oh, and there are no glasses: the beer is served in 32oz Styrofoam cups.

Who wants to waste time washing glasses when there are more important things like watching baseball to be done?

My apartment is a one-bedroom walk-through. It’s on the ground floor at the front, and the little garden outside (basically a couple of window boxes) is tended by my landlady. She left New York for the summer (probably to go find somewhere that’s even hotter), which means, for the next few months, it’s tended by me. This might not be so bad if it wasn’t for a sun that reduces all living things to a withered mass in a matter of minutes.

But none of that matters. Even though I’m sitting here, melting like the witch in The Wizard of Oz, it doesn’t matter. What matters is what I’m doing, and where I’m doing it. Playing music for a living in New York City, the thing I’ve dreamt of doing since I was fifteen. What matters is that I’m here doing this and not where I was six months ago. As Henry Miller said, in Tropic of Cancer, “I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive.”

“Those were the reasons and that was New York,
We were running for the money and the flesh.
And that was called love for the workers in song
Probably still is for those of them left.”

                                  Leonard Cohen, Chelsea Hotel No. 2

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26 comments on “What Would Henry Miller Do?

  1. Amy Eyrie says:

    Nice Derek! Definitely makes me want to read the rest. The cop bar is hilarious and I love your descriptions of NY in summer. You have a good voice and your character has an inner life that shines through already.

  2. Krystal Wade says:

    Struggling while doing what you love…is there any better thing? Love this post. 🙂

  3. conniemaria says:

    I enjoyed this! I’ve only been to NY a couple times so I enjoyed the descriptions. Loved these lines: “People talk about how impersonal the city is with its rushing hordes and break-neck buildings, a majesty that dwarfs even the richest of its inhabitants. But that’s what’s so great about it. It’s a level playing-field. There’s rich and poor, but they’re all thrown together in this stew.” Well done 🙂

  4. Louise says:

    You caught the feeling of heat and desperate determination to live the dream very well. First person pov is very immediate and you get close to the narrative voice very quickly, provided u want to follow it, which I would!

  5. writenowmom says:

    Well, well, well! What a dark horse you are! That’s an amazing piece – I predict big things for you! Can’t wait to read the rest. Well done.

  6. Love it! And have spent some time in Park Slope – great setting!

  7. lizamartz says:

    Very, very nice, Derek. I think you’ve got a winner here! (also I have wondered if you knew of Leonard Cohen because your music reminds me of his but not in a copy cat way, by its evocativeness [new word] – and now I know!)

  8. Al Boudreau says:

    Fantastic post, Derek. So glad to finally read your work. You are solidly on your way to the big-league, my friend. I know these things. LOL

  9. Junying Kirk says:

    I love it, Derek.

    You draw your readers in straight away. I felt that I was taken there, to NY, which I have wanted to go for a very long time and yet to make it come true. Perhaps I’ll just do the virtual trip and go with your writer/musician character 🙂

    Yes, like your other commentators above, I’d love to read the rest, so good luck with your book!

  10. nettiewriter says:

    Nice sense of place, good voice – I’d definitely read on.
    Nx

  11. Katie Dodge says:

    Very nice! Great voice. 🙂 Thanks for the heads up on Twitter about your blog!

  12. I like the words you use and the order you use them in. Well done.

  13. Kelly Gamble says:

    Multi-talented. If you tell me you paint, too, I’m going to start getting a little jealous. 🙂 Great post, Derek.

  14. […] This post was Twitted by derekf03 […]

  15. LJ says:

    Drew me right in! I’m ready to keep reading about this struggling musician. I feel big things for him are to come! Great voice and flow. Loved it!

  16. Pam Reader says:

    Fabulous voice! Itching to know where he was six months ago, where he’s playing, what he’s playing and what happen’s next…

  17. I really like this. Well done, Derek. I can totally relate to this. I lived in NY for six years, and I know the New York Struggle Shuffle (as I like to call it) very well. I can sympathize to not having and money in NY. That place will suck you dry!

  18. You really captured the mood well in this piece. Gritty, hot, and full of promise. Love it!

  19. Catie Rhodes says:

    You definitely caught my interest, and that’s no easy thing this busy afternoon. I’ve been traveling all weekend and am very tired.

    Love the narrator’s voice in this story, and I love how you describe what he’s doing to beat the heat. I’d like to know what happens to get the story going. 😀

  20. I really enjoyed this excerpt, Derek. I can feel the desperation of his situation and see it reflected in your descriptions. His dream is a cohesive agent bonding him with his surroundings, though. I would like to know more. : )

  21. I think everyone else has said it, Derek. This is quality writing. You should def keep at it.

  22. Excellent. I love New York, and you’ve captured a great feel for it.

  23. Gosh Derek, as my grandkids say “Way to go” this is brilliant, you capture the city so well. I have never been there myself, so My only image of it comes from authors and now you. Is that pub a real one? it sounds so eccentric, i would love to visit it, very well done, will be a great book. PS Leonard Cohen was a genius poet, wasn’t he? best wishes Margaret

  24. C. G. Powell says:

    Great post Derek!!! It looks like you are off to a good start. Sorry it took so long to read it…I was on a 3 week vacation and cut off from twitter:-( You are a fantastic writer!

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